I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
