Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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