I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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