Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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