I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize