speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
