hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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