Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
