Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
