i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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