And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize