i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
