I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
