I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
