his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
