Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
