and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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