The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
