i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
