Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
