Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
