we have officially lost it.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
