He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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