after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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