i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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