The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
