Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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