my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
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