This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think my vagina is haunted
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
