Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
