Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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