Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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