my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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