i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No...this little piggys going to the bar
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My feet surprised me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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