did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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