I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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