Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The power of my boobs compel you
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize