oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
