Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
