I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
