My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
