You really coming over, don't trick.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
