Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
