all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
