The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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