Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
