Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
