I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
