I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize