Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize