Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
