There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Semen is not good for contacts.
We just shotgunned beers for America
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My feet surprised me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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