we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
