Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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