oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
