I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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