So drunk, too bad you don't want this
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
