Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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