wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
