I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
