awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
