I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
