I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
