why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize