Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
