PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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