bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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